I remember during the early 2000s when futuristic and doomsday movies were still Hollywood’s biggest trend.
I had watched so much of those movies as a child, it had believe with all sincerity that the world was going to end in the year 2020. Ironically, I wasn’t the only kid who thought that way!
Oh grown-ups, may they be cursed!
My parents used this anxiety I felt to make me behave more.
I went from a 6-year-old girl who thrilled herself in rallying other neighborhood kids into spitballing poor pedestrians at night, to gluing my annoying neighbor’s shoes and garbage to his front porch using industrial glue and filling balloons up with water and hot chili sauce to be used on my Sunday school teacher.
I went from that to being a missionary and seducing the same kids I had rallied into spitballing other people to being missionaries as well.
But of course, that didn’t last long, as the end of the world took too long and old habits die hard.
I don’t think the world would be “ending” anytime soon, and even if it did, doesn’t it make more sense to live it to the best of your ability, making the most out of your rather limited time on earth?
Breaking old patterns
The greatest enemy to change are old habits. the longer it has been around, the deeper it will be imprinted in you, the harder it will be for you to wipe it clean.
Making resolutions to have something change consciously on your part, without putting into considerations the habits, decisions, or events that had gotten you to where you are currently, is practically the same as trying to hold water in a basket and expecting it to work this time just because you did it on a different day!
We create results every day, every outcome is a product of our input. If you do not like the results you have, check what had led to it. Oftentimes than not, if we are being honest with ourselves, really honest, we would find out that 80% of what had happened were totally in our control, and that we had the option to decide that things had turned out differently.
About resolutions and the new year
90% of people with new years’ resolutions totally blow off on the agreement by February of the new year, by March if they’re strong.
But yet, with each year-end we come up with new lists, sometimes more daring than the last, often times a recall from last years’ unaccomplished resolution. We totally ignore the fact that such a fit has an incredibly low success rate.
Nevertheless, a lot of us feel this sort of euphoric magic in the air as the year comes to a finish, letting us believe that there will actually be something different or special about the new year when in reality it’s not.
There is nothing “special” about the new year, nothing is going to “change”, you are not going to simply transform into a “new person” just because the calendar declares new numbers.
The reason why resolution fails
Is because we have linked our fantasies and unrealistic beliefs to what will really happen or is going to ensue with the coming year.
Yesterday, today, now, tomorrow. Are all the same. They are all in a never-ending time loop. What changes are the emotions you choose to feel, what you chose to focus on, and who you spend that time with. It is the aftermath of your actions, be it habitual or novel.
Pitfalls to change
I used to believe that I will be a different person, a much better person. that things will be different if I was at a particular place, if I changed location and start afresh with new people who’ve never known me before.
This particularly happened when I was about to go to college, I thought it will be easier for me to change and stop acting or being the way I was, because often times than not, one of the major tie-ups to our self-transformation is the fear of being judged. I thought it would be easy to start acting more like me, and rather than a knock off of other people’s ideas and standards, that I will finally rid myself of the false self I had developed as a way of avoiding conflicts with people and being liked more.
But I was painfully wrong, my environment may have changed, my friends may have changed too, but I was exactly the same girl I was before moving. Nothing had changed.
So what’s my point?
If you are waiting for an elusive future where everything would be “just right”, where you’ll have that house, that cash, that position, that health, that physique, that social circle, or lifestyle, you are painfully mistaken.
The change you want, the life you want is not in the new year, or tomorrow, or even in the next hour, it is in the now!
It is okay to hope and dream, it should be encouraged, but what shouldn’t is the idea that you have to wait for some certain time or astral constellation before you get your butt to it.
Start with what you’ve got now, do what you can now, aim for what is closest now while keeping your gaze at the goal. you want something in the new year? start now, there’s never going to be a better time.
As you progress, be vigilant of what had gotten you to the point you are desperately trying to get out of, as they will be your greatest opponent, your greatest demon.